My aunt Gypsie and my cousin Peg came to town for Chris' memorial service and when we met up at the visitation my aunt shook her head with disbelief and sadness, saying "We have to stop meeting like this." I wryly responded that it was a macabre case of four funerals and a wedding.
Over the past two years, I've lost my father (April 2005), my mother (June 2006), one of my uncles (July 2006), and now my husband (July 2007). All those funerals were thankfully interspersed with happy times, including our wedding last September. But it is hard for me to really grasp the loss of so many close family members in such a short time... hard to comprehend the weight and accumulated impact of so much grief.
As a childless only child who is now an adult orphan and a widow, I have a deep sense of aloneness that is now much sharper than it ever was when I was simply an only child. It is a difficult thing to explain to those who are not only children. I do have extended family scattered far and wide across Canada, the US, and Barbados. I also have the support and shared comfort of Chris' family nearby as well as many wonderful and dear friends near and far. However this new aloneness is something that I will need to understand and explore to ultimately accept as part of my new identity. Time...
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